Saturday, June 20, 2015

Radiate It

I want to radiate happiness. I want to be positive. I want to nix the negativity that I’ve had since I don’t even remember when.  I want people to be happy to be around me.  To feel like I bring happiness along with me.  I want to be good again.

Today I was thinking about eighth grade.

While random, I realized that this is probably where things changed for me.

It was ninth grade when I started to be sad, and I think it was ninth grade where I started to lose the light that was inside me.

A lot of things have happened, some good, some bad, and while I realize the impact that circumstances can have on who you are, I can’t help but look back and wish it was different.

Look back and wish I was different.

I can’t look back at high school and see happiness.  I can’t look back at high school and see much but how lost I was.

And while I wasn’t sad the whole time, while it wasn’t all bad, it wasn’t good either.

I love to smile more than almost anything, and I just wish there were more of those.

I’ve lived so much of my life being afraid of so many things, and I’m done.

I’m done, and I’m ready to change, and I think I’ve already started.

-That Girl, Hopefully Happy